Home Marriage Banter Can Couples Sleep In Separate Rooms? || Let’s Discuss!

Can Couples Sleep In Separate Rooms? || Let’s Discuss!

by Ifunanya

I’m quite a light sleeper. The lightest sound or movement can rouse me from even my deepest sleep state. Anything from gently opening the door to switching on the light can spell the end of sleep for me. 

But it gets worse

An inadequate amount of sleep or being  suddenly pulled from my sleep, can induce a migraine that can last anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days even with medicine. 

For me, nothing’s more frustrating than having my sleep interrupted because I probably won’t be able to go back to sleep.

 My partner on the other hand can sleep through a grade 8.0 earthquake under the right conditions. 

No amount of light switching or bed kicking will wake him. Till he hears the voice of his ancestors saying “that’s enough sleep my child”

Believe me, I’ve tried. 

I also happen to be an early bird. Under the right circumstances you can be sure that I’m already in bed by 7pm. Because of the fact that I’m usually wide awake before dawn I try to go to bed early to get in enough sleep. 

My partner? Doesn’t know what sleep means till around  midnight. 

So as you have probably imagined, it’s a bit of a disaster. 

In a discussion with a friend, I mentioned that plan to frequently sneak off elsewhere to get some well deserved, uninterrupted sleep.

The look she gave me was priceless. It was a look of horror that suggested I had said something of a taboo. 

I tried to explain my plight – the headaches and light sleeping but she wouldn’t have any of it. 

To her, it was unacceptable on any grounds, “how dare I?” 

Initially I laughed off her warnings and well-meaning “advice” because to me, it wasn’t a big deal. But the next time I found myself thinking of sneaking away, I wondered if indeed it was something of a taboo.

Is it really normal? Can couples sleep in separate rooms?

So like every well-meaning adult faced with a dilemma, I took to the Internet to find out if I was alone. 

Here’s what I found out. 

Can Married Couples Sleep In Separate Rooms? || Let’s Discuss!

Photo by Quin Stevenson

“A survey from the National Sleep Foundation found that almost one in four married couples sleep in separate rooms”

Okay, that’s a good start right? It’s not entirely an outlandish idea is it?

But I wasn’t entirely satisfied with that seeing as it’s a US-based organization so decided to delve further. 

When can couples sleep in separate rooms?

If you have to deal with snoring, kicking or any other possible scenarios that can ultimately lead to sleep deprivation.

If you and partner have different work schedules that means one person is awake while the other person is sleeping. 

As long as both parties are in agreement and okay with it with the decision. Sleeping in separate bedrooms can actually help you wake up happier and reduce the risk of sleep-deprivation induced ailments like obesity and depression.

Kristie Overstreet, PhD, a clinical sexologist, and author believes that by sleeping in separate beds, you have a better chance of prioritizing intimacy and physical touch”

Can Married Couples Sleep In Separate Rooms? || Let’s Discuss!

Photo by @plqml


When is a bad idea?

Sleeping in separate rooms is not okay when it becomes a habit. It is fine as a short-term fix but if continued over a long time can have a negative impact on the couple’s relationship. 

It’s also a bad idea if both parties are not in agreement as it can cause tensions and possibly lead to bigger issues in the relationship.

Even though we can all agree that sleep is vital to our overall health and wellbeing, learning to strike a balance is also important in preserving the relationship. 

I was pleased to read the experiences and opinions of other people. What problems they’d encountered and how they managed to navigate it. It was an insightful learning experience. 

But I would love to hear from you. What do you you think? Can couples sleep in separate rooms? Would you consider sleeping in separate rooms with your partner? Or do you think it’s inexcusable no matter the circumstance?

Please share your thoughts!!


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Uju July 13, 2019 - 8:52 am

I’m a cuddly person sometimes and other times, I detest human interactions (my partner is not exempt from ‘humans’).
I will most definitely have my own room so I can be by myself but also, his room will be our room for those times when I happen to be a normal human.

Ifunanya July 13, 2019 - 9:50 am

I can 100% relate to this 😂😂

Oma July 13, 2019 - 1:17 pm

Nice piece

Amaka July 14, 2019 - 6:17 am

I think your circumstances are perfectly reasonable to sleep in a separate room. I personally don’t think i can do it, but when we get to that bridge, we’ll cross it. I also am not a light sleeper so I relate to your husband lol, but at the same time I sleep early so I’m like you too. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I’m sure a majority of Nigerians, especially older ones, will shake their head vehemently sha lol, they’ll probs adopt the gum-body opinion on the matter, that couples have to stay together no matter what. I’m enjoying your new marriage content Ify!



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