Couples seem to be living together before marriage now more than ever. It has become a global phenomenon and shows no signs of slowing down. There are those who still vehemently oppose the idea of living together before marriage often citing religious and moral reasons.
Research has shown that nearly half of all couples decide to live together before tying the knot. Of those living together, 40 percent will go on to marry within three years. But out of the 40 percent who do marry, 27 percent will have divorced within five years of tying the knot.
So what does this all mean? Is living together before marriage really a good idea? Are there benefits to it? Or is it a horrible idea?
In this post, we will be discussing the pros and cons of living together before marriage.
Photo by Everton Vila
First the pros.
Test run for marriage:
Living together before marriage can seem like a bit of a test run for marriage. You get a chance to know your partner in more intimate ways; their habits and behaviors become impossible to hide when you live with them. This gives you a chance to evaluate compatibility and as such you get a sense of what being married to the person is going to feel like.
Living together helps saves costs. When you live together you get to share the cost of running the household. From rent to utility bills and even groceries. Running one household instead of two leaves room for spare cash.
Bonding is better:
Living together changes the dynamics of the relationship. Because you get to spend more time with your partner, there is an increased bonding opportunities compared to people who are in a relationship but live separately.
Learning to share responsibilities and chores:
Married or not, when couples live together they have to run the home together and it often includes sharing chores and responsibilities in the home. Living together before marriage gives you a chance to learn how to share responsibilities with each other, manage chores and everything else that will be needed to keep the home functioning. This often helps in a smoother transition into marriage life if you’ve eventually tie the knot.
Photo by Becca Tapert
Now the cons.
Lack of appeal:
Leaving together before marriage sometimes dulls the appeal of being married. It might become increasingly difficult to convince a person who already gets all the perks of having a spouse by cohabitating that getting married is a wise move to make. And that’s understandable.
Living together before marriage does not guarantee that marriage will actually happen. Only about half the people who decide to live together before marriage end up typing the knot.
Trauma of separation:
People who are living together before marriage are still prone to breaks up. But unlike other relationships, separation can be as traumatic as a divorce.
Getting used to your romantic partner can dull the fires of passion in the relationship which can ultimately lead to a separation. It takes effort to keep the spark alive which is easier to do when couples lead separate lives.
No room for escape:
Living together can make it difficult to find a proper escape when tension arises or there’s a heated argument. There’s no room for escape when you live together, you no longer have the option of “going home” to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
You miss out on the newlywed feelings:
Living together before marriage can mean that you don’t get to experience the newlywed feeling because you’ve already been shacking up.
Photo by Toa Heftiba
In conclusion, there are no guarantees that living together before marriage ensures a successful relationship, but the same can also be said for people who decide not to live together. Although we know that not everyone who moves in with their partner does so because they want to get married. In fact, studies show that some cohabitation partners have no desire to get married at all. But if you are considering living with your partner before tying the knot, it’s best to consider the pros and cons.
What are your thoughts on living together before marriage? Are you for or against it? Share your thoughts in the comments below!!
Love & Light…xxx